Patrick currently resides deep in the suburbs of Boston, Massachusetts. He sucks at sports, can't play any musical instruments, and suffers from crippling anxiety. In his spare time, he can be found trying to beat his best score at Ms. Pacman or passed out on the couch after a tiring day of Law & Order: SVU reruns. His favorite things include television, music, and comedy. He dislikes almost everything else, especially the Tori episodes of Saved by the Bell.
He also can be found at houseofplay.tv
Somewhere, the surviving Halliwell sisters are counting their blessings they never had to go up against any deadites who couldn’t be vanquished by mumbling some alliterate hiaku-like incantations. When Marie Laveau unleashes a literal hell into the courtyard surrounding Miss Robichaux’s Acamedy, Zoe Benson channels her inner-Ash Williams when she stumbles upon a chainsaw that she uses to trim the limbs from the LaLaurie family tree; and when that runs out of gas, she suddenly learns to summon a deadly aura of power from her mystical vagina to trounce the malevolent forces that are killing her Halloween plans.
American Horror Story Season 3, Episode 5
There has been a horny minotaur lurking in the bushes behind Miss Robichaux’s Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies, but Spalding the mute caretaker is the one the girls should be installing an extra deadbolt on their bedroom door for. Perhaps it is the way he prances around his bedroom late at night nearly on the verge of going full Buffalo Bill or that it’s not out of the realm of possibility that Spalding could be a distant cousin of Hanson, the badly malformed butler from Scary Movie 2.
Either way, Clairvoyant Nan must have some sort of idea about his masturbatory trysts, but apparently she’s not too big on imaginary Stewie Griffin-esque tea parties.
American Horror Story Season 3, Episode 4
The incestuous good times of virtually every HBO series ever seeps over onto basic cable in the form of Mom on her Young Frankenstein’s monster-son sex. After being sewn back together at an all-you-can-eat buffet of handsome boy body parts, Mommy Dearest suspects something is awry when Kyle Spencer’s mandingo is curved a little more to the left than usual. Either way, Mommy brushes off these petty concerns and picks up right where she left off; that is until Kyle snaps and decides to flatten her skull with a novelty trophy that reads, “World’s Best Mom.”
American Horror Story Season 3, Episode 3