the miseducation of patrick dunn
Patrick currently resides deep in the suburbs of Boston, Massachusetts. He sucks at sports, can't play any musical instruments, and suffers from crippling anxiety. In his spare time, he can be found trying to beat his best friend's score at Ms. Pacman or passed out on the couch after a tiring day of Law & Order: SVU reruns. His favorite things include television, music, and comedy. He dislikes almost everything else, especially the Tori episodes of Saved by the Bell.
Whenever I see one of those published lists of the most stressful jobs in America, I skim through them to see if Suze Orman’s assistant charted anywhere on there. I envision this person running all over town for her on miscellaneous errands then being demonized by the dark lord for spending $5.25 on a venti caramel macchiato from Starbucks. At day’s end, this poor soul will go home to their shabby loft apartment they share with a group of aging hipsters and a nest of feral cats with unknown origins while Suze spends the evening swimming around in her Scrooge McDuck-like money vault.
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