Patrick currently resides deep in the suburbs of Boston, Massachusetts. He sucks at sports, can't play any musical instruments, and suffers from crippling anxiety. In his spare time, he can be found trying to beat his best score at Ms. Pacman or passed out on the couch after a tiring day of Law & Order: SVU reruns. His favorite things include television, music, and comedy. He dislikes almost everything else, especially the Tori episodes of Saved by the Bell.

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I just used the cork-screw feature of my Swiss Army Knife to un-pluck a pesky piece of bacon buried deep in the canyons between my bottom molars; my self-confidence level is at an all-time low this week.

obey your thirst 

The Toiletry Pouch is picking up friends along the way.